


Helluva Hotel/Hazbin Boss (Parody)

by KathyPrior42



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Donner - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:55:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyPrior42/pseuds/KathyPrior42
Summary: HELLUVA HOTEL (PILOT) October 82, 9102Starring the incredible talents of Wat-is Dis, Irma Imp, Johnny Hazbin and Red Doe 666.Follow Blitzo (the “o” is silent) as he pursues his seemingly impossible goal to help demons peacefully express themselves to reduce the mockery of lower class sinners…plus the exterminations of fellow demons by Exterminators and a rival Heaven group. While most of Hell mocks his goals and dreams, his father and his fellow employee Moxxie mocks it doubly so.
Relationships: Blitzo/Stolas (Helluva Boss), Loona & Crymini, Loona (Helluva Boss) and Crymini (Hazbin Hotel), Loona/Crymini - Relationship, Millie/Moxxie (Helluva Boss)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Helluva Hotel/Hazbin Boss (Parody)

HELLUVA HOTEL (PILOT) October 82, 9102

THE PILOT IS HERE!

Starring the incredible talents of Wat-is Dis, Irma Imp, Johnny Hazbin and Red Doe 666. 

In HELL, Imps are the lowest of the low in society, but what happens when one starts a hotel and recreation business? This happens!

Follow Blitzo (the “o” is silent) as he pursues his seemingly impossible goal to help demons peacefully express themselves to reduce the mockery of lower class sinners…plus the exterminations of fellow demons by Exterminators and a rival Heaven group. After a yearly extermination and having his previous office set on fire, Blitzo opens a hotel complete with an office for himself. He hopes that patients will become better individuals, grow to appreciate the imps and support Blitzo’s love of musicals and murder. While most of Hell mocks his goals and dreams, his father and his fellow employee Moxxie mocks it doubly so. Moxxie’s wife, erotic dancer and test subject Millie stick by their sides. When a grumpy Hellhound entity known as “Moonlight Howl” Loona reluctantly reaches out to Blitzo to help in his endeavors, his crazy dream is given a chance to become reality. 

HAZBIN BOSS (PILOT) November 52, 9102

THE PILOT IS HERE!

Starring the incredible talents of Blonde Disney Princess In Inferno, SJW Aggressor Moth, Porny Horny Spider Boi, Diabolic Deer Daddy, Gambling Grumpy Cat and Maid of DisHonorly Lust. 

Follow Charlie, the princess of Hell as she attempts to run a hybrid rehabilitation/killing residence in a very competitive market and careless chaotic society. She is the head of D.E.M.O.N. (Denizens End Misery Or Not) in correlation to I.M.P. (Immediate Murder Professionals)

She has help from her weapons specialist Vaggie, her powerhouse Angel Dust and torturer/receptionist Alastor. With the help of an ancient book obtained by one of the rich Eldritch family members, they manage to make their work possible by killing humans at the requests of their demon clients, sending them to the Magne Hotel to be tortured, redeemed or be stimulated by endless entertainment. They also attempt to survive each other while trying to keep their business afloat. 

But a rival company exists as well in correlation to C.H.E.R.U.B (Cherish Human Existence Revive U Back): A.N.G.E.L. (All Nobody’s Get Extended Life) a.k.a. they reincarnate people so they have a chance to life their human lives, worship God, and not have to endure the forced rehab program.

The scene opened up with “Red Doe 666 Presents…” as shadow curtains opened…

Against a white background designed with eyes, a shadowy figure of Blitzo was seen riding a horse with horns and a spiked tail. 

Blitzo was heard singing:

“Here I am…this is me.  
There’s nowhere else in Hell I’d rather be  
Here I am…what am I to do?  
I hope someday I can make my dreams come true  
It’s a new world, it’s a new start  
Alive with the screaming and the fresh hearts  
It’s a new day, it’s a new plan  
And it’s waiting for me  
Here I am”

A shadowy pentagram glowed and the camera moved down, showing shadowy figures of humans being killed by the three imps with weapons.  
A shadow figure of Blitzo looked up at the princess and Lucifer, his face downcast. He wished for a better life, but Lucifer looked down on him as common dirt. Blitzo then turned to the right and encountered a silhouette of his father and mother. Blitzo appeared to try and reason with them, but they both pointed in the other direction. Blitzo sadly turned around, his parents not listening to him. 

The city spun within a glowing white pentagram as white angels holding spears surrounded it. Imp City appeared to be burning as shadows of other denizens turned their backs on it. 

“Why have I always been a failure?  
What can they reason be?  
Why don’t they see they can’t take me?  
Why don’t they know I long to be free?”

Blitzo stood small and downcast under a towering horned silhouette of his imp father, Donner, yellow critical eyes glowing. Black tendrils made the screen go black. A spinning globe appeared with white eyes blinking at it. Silhouettes of Exterminators later posed with swords and bloodstained bodies around them. Each of them had an x over their right eyes and creepy grins on their faces. 

The next scenes showed Imp City in disrepair, weapons and bodies littering the streets. The Pentagram moon stood out in the crimson sky. Homeless demons sat in despair under ripped cardboard boxes, with “Satan Bless,” signs around them. One old store read: “Tricksters and Trades,” another said “Pimp Imps: Strip Club.” The most prominent building was metallic with black and white stripped horns extending out for decoration. 

Blitzo slowly walked out from the building onto a balcony. He leaned on a railing, briefly brushing his hand against his face. He was wearing his usual tattered navy blue work suit with orange pink buttons and a red undershirt with a pink straw pin with a face on it. He was also wearing silver cowboy boots.

Blitzo picked up a trumpet and blew a bugle sound, the notes echoing throughout the area, signaling that it was safe for the other imps to come out. The imps opened their windows and peered out from behind alleyways. Blitzo stared at his phone and the clock tower in the live video on it read “365 days until next cleanse.” 

The title then appeared: “Welcome to the Helluva Hotel.”

A car barreled through an open portal and ran over a poor imp before screeching to a stop. A red imp with wild black hair stepped out, a bloodstained knife sheathed at her side. 

“Wow that was some kill, thank for the backup sweetie,” said a male imp, Crosser. Both of them had just finished killing their target via a runaway chase. Crosser had dreamed of crossing over to the human world, and had wanted to run the human man over after the man had killed one of his sinner friends. 

Millie shut the door, wearing her usual black tank top, torn black pants and black collar around her neck. Her horns were shirt and black with small white stripes on them.

“Yeah, listen, I don’t want to let word out that I’ve been helping random clients with unusual requests for their targets. It was just a quick cash grab, you got it?” 

She smiled with large doe eyes.

“Whatever you say, slut,” Crosser remarked with a laugh that followed.

“Wow how rude can you be?” she exclaimed. She leaned in dangerously close. “Let me know who you find something better to call me, you scrawny runty pack of bird shit. Tell the boys at the club I said hi.” She blew him a kiss before stepping back. He grumbled and drove away before his car crashed with a sideways flip.

Millie strolled along the sidewalk and grabbed someone else’s stick of rotten candy. 

“Hey!” the imp yelled as Millie ran off with a giggle. “You snooze you lose, sucker!” 

She couldn’t wait to tell Blitzo of her successful day. 

Later, Moxxie and Stolas were busy helping Blitzo prepare for his big speech. Moxxie was straightening up his navy blue jacket, while Stolas was massaging his horns. They were in Stolas’ room and the meeting would take place in front of the palace. 

“Do you remember what to say, sir?” Moxxie asked Blitzo.

Blitzo smiled and stood up straight. “Yes, let’s do this!”

Stolas smiled as well, wiggling his eyebrows. “Just look at me if you’re nervous.”

“Come on guys, I know what to say!” Blitzo exclaimed. “I just feel like we need to…I don’t know, make things sound more exciting…”

He randomly played with bobble-heads of Moxxie and Millie before tossing them aside. Then he gasped, getting an idea.

“What if I…”

“Sing a song about it?” Moxxie asked with a huff of annoyance.

“Exactly Moxxie! Now you’re starting to get the hang of things around here!”

Stolas playfully poked Blitzo’s face, while Blitzo and Moxxie responded with grimaces.

“Please don’t sing,” Moxxie chided to his boss. “This is serious.”

“Well you know…” Blitzo said, climbing on top of Stolas’ dresser, knocking things down, “I do find I’m better at expressing my goals through song!”

“Blitzy, stop knocking over my belongings!” Stolas puffed up his feathers in anger. 

Moxxie glared at Blitzo as he walked over. “Life isn’t a musical, sir. Even if it were, yours would be so atrocious, not even Vox would allow it on that unwatched channel!”

“Then I’ll just have to use more of your salaries to release a better jingle,” Blitzo responded with a glare and sneer. He reached over for his plastic cup of iced coffee and downed several gulps of the light brown and white liquid. He sighed in content after he finished. Stolas made a disgusted face as some splashes of the drink spilled onto the floor. 

“I’d be more than happy to watch it,” Stolas replied to him. “In fact, I could watch you all day in any form…”

“Oh please,” Blitzo scoffed at Stolas. “Get over that one time thing already. My credibility is at risk of being lost here!”

Moxxie folded his arms and opened his mouth in frustration. “Your credibility? What about I.M.P.? You’re just making it look like a fucking joke!” He took a breath and pinched his nose briefly. “We are still a company, even if…things have changed a bit…”

None of them could forget when someone “accidentally” set their office on fire, and had to start over with several tasks. 

Blitzo grinned and pulled out a piece of paper. “Oh, I have these other ideas of what to say. The highlighted bits are the best parts.”

Moxxie took the paper, and scanned it in disbelief. “It’s all highlighted. Are these drawings?”

“Yep!” Blitzo affirmed, pointing to the paper. On it were several drawings of horses of different sizes, colored in with brown, gray, white and black crayons. The drawings looked like those that a child would do. Beside the horses were several names labeled for each one: Thumbtack, Bottlecap, Stapler, Live Wire and Toothpick. The list read: I.M.P. History, Why Blitz Is The Best, Jingle Suggestions, and Ending Song. At the bottom was a crude drawing of Blitzo on a stage, dancing with Moxxie, Millie, and Loona as dead humans with xs on their eyes and tongues out piled up around them. Nearby, imps and demons tossed them money and flowers. 

Blitzo’s eyes were shining in wonder. “See! That’s the ultimate goal! Everyone’s happy and appreciating us. And we still get to kill to our hearts’ content.” 

“It’s not that simple, sir!” Moxxie groaned with a face-palm. “Just follow the talking points we went over.” He grabbed hold of Blitzo’s collar. “And Do. Not. Sing.”

“Whatever,” Blitzo said as he shoved Moxxie off him. “If not that, then I can always do my improv skills.”

Blitzo saluted and walked out of the room, while the others followed. They were soon outside the palace near a round table where several owls had tea one time. There was a camera crew and several imps taking pictures. Blitzo took his seat in a chair, while Stolas stood regally nearby. Millie grinned and gave Blitzo a thumbs up. Loona slouched in a chair and shot avatars of Moxxie and Husk in an app game on her phone. 

“Hi I’m Blitzo,” said the imp to a wealthy demon with white tentacle hair, gray-green skin and a pink dress with fur and matching heels. Her gray skinned brother wore a green suit and a green top hat decorated with living yellow eyes and teeth around the brim. 

“Helsa Von Eldritch,” she deadpanned. “I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you but that’d be a lie. You can put your hand away. I don’t touch imps and sinners. I have standards.”

Blitzo withdrew his hand. “How’s that working out for you, Hel?”

“Be glad that I’m letting you live after you so rudely forgot to address me as Lady Helsa Von Eldritch,” She fluffed her hair. “My time is money and no one really wants you here. You’re only here because Charlie forgot to show up for Hell’s Royal Vogue fashion segment. One that features me as the favorite, obviously.”

Nearby were magazines that showed Sevaithan, Helsa, Octavia and Charlie wearing fancy clothing while their faces were obscured under wide brimmed hats. Seviathan wore his usual green top hat with eyes on it and fancy green suit. Octavia wore a dress of black, Helsa’s was pink and Charlie’s was apple red in the pictures. 

“But…” Blitzo began, before Helsa cut him off.

“So don’t get cocky with me clown or I’ll fucking strangle you.” She bared her sharp teeth as Blitzo silently gulped. Helsa sat down in her seat, painting her sharp nails. 

“And I thought that bratty kid was a piece of shit,” Blitzo thought to himself. 

Blitzo spotted Stolas’ daughter Octavia with her mother sitting in high throne-like chairs at an adjacent table. 

“How’s it going, Via?” Blitzo called.

“Good until you showed up,” she replied in a British accent. 

“Oh!” Stolas added. “We should all go on a family trip to Loo Loo Land sometime! I’ll bring some balloons and popcorn if you want.” 

“That place reeks of corporate shame,” Octavia scoffed in her seat. “It’s just a rip off of Loo Loo World, anyway. Besides, I would much rather hang out with Helsa than die of embarrassment again.”

“So…you friends with her or not?” Blitzo asked in confusion. 

Octavia rolled her eyes and retorted. “You and my father still a thing?”

“Blitzo,” warned the white owl queen Melodia, mentioning to the waiting crew.  
Blitzo took his seat near Helsa and Seviathan, the two wealthy Eldritch siblings. 

“Right,” Blitzo said, straightening his clothes and looking at the cameras. 

“Hi, I’m Blitzo, the “o” is silent and I’m the founder of I.M.P. Are you a piece of…”

Moxxie shook his head and mouthed, “Not an ad.”

“…shit.”

Blitzo took a deep breath, his smile fading a little. “As most of you know, I was born here in Hell, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me. Hell is my home and…”

A stray feather floated in front of Blitzo’s nose, causing the imp to sneeze.

“…some you are my clients, so I suppose I should try to be more concerned about you. We just went through another Extermination.”

Millie gave him two thumbs up.

Blitzo continued. “We’ve lost so many souls, including homeless people, and it breaks my heart to see other imps and hellhounds being slaughtered every year. Same goes for sinners. I mean, they brought it on themselves mostly, but then again, if there were no demons around, then there would be no business for me to run.” 

Sudden anger sparked in his golden eyes. “In our society, imps are not even given a chance!”

He pounded his fist on the table, spilling his coffee drink all over his jacket. He swore and tried to lick some of it off. Stolas arrived and quickly wiped the stains off as much as he could. Blitzo brushed the owl prince away before continuing. 

“Imps are the lowest of the low? Why is that? Because we’re somehow poorer than sinners? We’re lesser in numbers so imps and hellhounds can be called to service by random strangers anytime they wish? How are imps somehow lower than sinners, who are supposedly lower than the elite hellborn? I mean, imps are born in Hell…shouldn’t we get the proper treatment we deserve? I’m the founder of the most well-known company in Imp City, along with access to the human world, no less! That should definitely count for something! I cannot stand idly by while the place I live is subject to such judgement and death.”

Blitzo continued… “So, I’ve been thinking…isn’t there a better way to hinder ignorance, and in my case, hinder the lower ratings for my company? Isn’t there a more alternative way to change clients and souls through…recreation? Well I think yes, and that is what my project aims to achieve! Ladies and gentlemen, I’m expanding on my company and making…a conjoint hotel to encourage self-expression and I.M.P. appreciation!”

Blitzo spread out his arms at the table. He then muttered nervously at the confused faces. “You know…cause when demons learn to appreciate us more and be somewhat nicer…we won’t have to worry about those blasted Cherubs or the angels coming after us…”

“Angels?” laughed an imp as he watched Blitzo on TV. “Is that imp for real? Oh he’s nuts!”

Blitzo went on…”and those who come and cheer for me at my musicals will receive a 15% discount the next time they need my gang to kill people! Yay!”

“Stupid clown,” mocked an imp before Millie punched the cameraman right in the face, sending him off the stool. 

Blitzo looked around in concern. “Look, I know that each and every one of you has something good inside you. I know you do.”

Then he smirked, getting an idea. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you…”

He mentioned to his black haired imp sisters Tilla and Barbie Wire, who suddenly walked in view of the camera, wearing black and pink circus outfits. 

Moxxie face-palmed with an “oh no.”

Blitzo began his song while standing on the table…

“I have a dream, I’m here to tell  
About a wonderful new I.M.P. hotel  
Yes it’s one of a kind  
Right here in Hell  
Catering to bloodthirsty clientele”

Blitzo’s sisters provided harmonizing vocals. 

“When you want somebody gone  
And you don’t wanna wait too long  
Call the Immediate Murder Professionals  
Your vengeance gone wrong?  
Are you looking for a song?  
At my new hotel, we won’t do you wrong

I.M.P. just wait and see  
Embrace you inner demons and live free  
But we expect, to treat us with respect  
Or we’ll have to break your neck

Yes it’s hard to learn to be good  
But to escape stressful lives, you know you would  
Give us some green and don’t be mean  
This’ll be greatest show you’ve ever seeeeeen!

Don’t feel blue  
We provide service to you  
There’s no room for inner strife  
When we could have a better life

There will be no more loss  
And there will be no more schemes  
Just horsey-horse nuzzles and iced coffee dreams  
And traveling a better way  
You’ll be like “Yay!”  
Once you check in with meeee

We do or job so well  
Cause we come straight up from Hell  
We make your troubles go away  
And you can find a place to stay  
Via the Immediate Murder Professionals  
Kids die for Freeeee!”

Blitzo and his sisters ended with poses on the table.

One demon with one eye said “Wow! That was shit!”

Everyone except Blitzo, Tilla, Barbie Wire, Moxxie, Loona, Millie, and Stolas burst into laughter. Blitzo buried his face in his hands on the table, while Millie fired her gun at the crew. Moxxie booed at Blitzo.

Helsa Von Eldrich sneered at the imp, her brother next to her.

“What in the Nine Circles of Hell makes you think people would give two shits about becoming a better person? You have no proof that this experiment even works. You want people to be good and pay attention to your measly company just…because?”

“Well,” Blitzo argued, “I have an employee already who’s dedicated to my cause.”

“And who might that be?”

“Oh just someone named…Millie. Oh and we also have a new guest coming as well…Mimzy!”

Seviathan glanced over and asked, “The flapper girl?” He had previously dated Charlie but would occasionally mess and flirt with sinner girls to mess with them. Mimzy’s fame had appealed to him. 

“You fucking would, Sevia!” Helsa bared her teeth. “Anyway, I bet that girl wouldn’t bat an eye to your company unless you had a million souls.”

“Admit it, Blitzo,” added Sevia. “You and your gang of imps are dead to us and to Hell. How does it feel being a total failure?”

The sibling snobs cackled at a hurt Blitzo.

“Yeah, well how does it feel that your ex loves a sinner over you, huh? Bastard bitch?!”

Sevia and Blitzo managed to yell and land a few punches before they were forcefully separated via Stolas’ bird guards. The meeting ended abruptly on the spot. Blitzo and his companions felt dejected on their way back to the office. Stolas had generously given Blitzo some money to add another connecting hotel building with rows of rooms, a stage and a bar. 

The three imps arrived at their building and after filling out some paperwork, they met in a lobby of the separate building. There were pictures along the walls of the I.M.P. members. Blitzo posing with his sisters after performing at a circus. Blitzo holding a puppy Loona lovingly. Moxxie and Millie in wedding attire, the couple gazing lovingly at each other. Millie and Moxxie sitting with a large Apple mascot for Loo Loo Land, Moxxie crying in fear and discomfort. 

Millie walked over to the fridge and pulled out a box of popsicles. She happily sucked and ate a black raspberry one. 

“You know you might as well get more food for this place,” Millie mentioned to Blitzo. “To feed all the wayward souls in this place.” She giggled and added, “I can help organize the car wash while you search the fridge for spoiled butter!”

Blitzo just sat dejectedly on a wooden crate of booze. Millie considered comforting him, but Moxxie gave her a look and shook his head. Millie sighed and followed her husband to let Blitzo be alone. Blitzo stepped outside and called a familiar person on his hell phone. The label read “Stolas, a.k.a. One Night Stand Bird Dick.”

“Hey Stolas, it’s me.”

“Hello Blitzy, how may I entertain you tonight?”

“No you really don’t have to.”

“Perhaps a show that can make up for today’s broadcast?”

“Yeah about that, I…don’t think I’m making a difference. I mean, I’m lucky to be alive after the Extermination but, everyone thought my plan was stupid.”

“Perhaps unusual,” Stolas mentioned. “Redeeming and trying to change demons is like trying to freeze Hell’s fires. It’s just not possible.”

“Not that I want to do it completely…but if things keep going wrong, I’ll lose my company and maybe even my families’ lives from those in Heaven.”

Stolas squawked with laughter. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of those flying cherubs and sheep?”  
“Fuck that! Those dancing revivers are annoying pieces of shit trying to interfere with my hard work.”

“How about this way, C.H.E.R.U.B. or whatever those things are, revive humans so you have more humans to kill later on!”

“But having to kill the same people again and again? How boring is that! I.M.P. needs more variety, less repetition. Thumbtack, my horse, agrees.”

“Didn’t you tell me about how you killed that bratty kid twice?”

“It was Moxxie and then me but that’s not the point. If this company goes out of business, then I’ll never get the chance to live my musical theater dreams.” 

“Don’t be sad, Blitzy,” said Stolas. “You have your associates and you also have me. I’ll make sure no one messes around with you.”

“I think my dad was…right about me…”

“You’re no failure Blitzy. He can hardly call himself a father to you. And if he ever tries to make you lonely and bring you down because of your goals…”

Stolas then ranted on with a series of curses and a lot of cringe-worthy sentences. Blitzo laughed nervously.

“If this is your way of trying to get into bed then I ain’t having it.”

“No, not this time.”

“Okay then. Thanks for the advice.”

“Anytime.”

“Good bye.”

Blitzo hung up by tapping on the phone screen. He wiped tears from his eyes as he headed back inside. He leaned against the door, eyes closed, frustrated and fatigued. 

Just then, he heard a knock on the door. One loud knock that made it sound like someone had decided to punch the door. A smile grew on Blitzo’s face as he opened the door.

There stood Loona in her usual gray tank top with a black downward pentagram design below her neck. Her pants with a moon on it wore torn and she wore no shoes. Her eyes flared red, her red tongue just visible among her sharp teeth. 

Blitzo beamed. “Loo…”

Loona slammed the door hard. Blitzo opened it.

“…ny!”

Loona slammed it again.

Blitzo eagerly turned to Moxxie. “Hey Moxxie!”  
“What?!” asked the agitated imp.

“Loony is at the door!”

“What?!” Moxxie asked. “Oh?” asked Millie.

Blitzo was cheered up. “What should I do?”

“Don’t let her in!” Moxxie spat. 

Blitzo waltzed right to the door and opened it.

“May I rant now?” asked the hellhound.

“You may,” Blitzo responded. 

Loona stomped inside. “The nerve of you guys to just leave me behind like that. I mean, did you want me to sit through another segment of royalty bitching about their outfits. When my punk clothing is superior anyway. Man Blitzo, I haven’t seen anything so embarrassing since you decided to give me spiders and sleep with that privileged asshole. Heh, you were kinda pathetic.”

She had her sharp black claws out, and her breath smelled of alcohol. 

Moxxie pointed a gun at her. “Stop right there! I know that look and I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone else here, you lunatic emo meth addicted bitch!”

Loona just lowered the gun with her fingers. “If I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would’ve done so already.”

She growled and bared her fangs. “Ya know, I came because…I was thinking of helping.”

Blitzo looked confused. “Say what?”

“I wanna help you run this place. Why not, nothing else to do.” She scoffed. “Though Blitzo, your plans are ridiculous as always.” 

“Why do you still have her around?” Moxxie shook his head. “She hardly answers the bone phone and has skipped work too many times to count!”

“Don’t talk about her like that, she’s fine. Sometimes she has what some people would call…ruff days.”

Loona flipped the bird before searching the fridge. “Any avocado salads here?”

“No. I already ate mine early thanks to you eating mine last time.”

“Nobody claimed it and besides, people like you don’t need lunch.”

“Hey!”

“Alright,” said Blitzo. “I’ll be happy to have you help. Just…don’t fly off the handle or get into any trouble.”

“Fair enough, whatever.”

The hellhound looked around. “Any hotel visitors around here?”

Millie mentioned to a chubby short blonde haired woman reading a magazine and humming a tune. “Just Mimzy.”

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile,” she sang.

“Meh. Not enough. Hey Millie, any extra things you can do?”

Millie grinned. I can snuggle you and give you kisses.”

“Ha! No.”

“Your loss.”

Loona sighed. “Hang on, I’ll be right back. I can sniff you a few people who might be helpful. 

About fifteen minutes later, she came holding a squirming blue anglerfish demon in her paw. He was wearing a gray lab coat, yellow goggles and a hanging light from his small top hat.

“This little amphibian is Baxter,” Lonna said, dropping him. 

“I-I’m Baxter,” the fish stammered. “That mutt over there just tracked me down, right when I was about to gather my ingredients for my next p-project. It’s a top secret formula that I m-must complete.” He raced around to grab more beakers, vials and a burner nearby. “It’s been a w-while since I’ve seen new people. And I don’t want to see any more. No, no, no, stay back! Back off I say!” He pointed a white shrink ray at anyone who came too close. “If you’ll e-excuse me, I must get back to work!”

Several moments later, not too far from headquarters, a white and red hellhound was strolling along listening to rock music on 90s headphones. “Why am I even here?” she thought. “I can’t believe that I’m stuck in this vast scary place.” Music and a tough front hid the insecurity underneath. She received a tap on the shoulder.

“The hell? The fuck is this?” She turned around and spotted Loona. “You!” she broke into a large toothed grin. She wore black leather, metal rings on her pointed ears and a spiked collar. Her shirt was pink red with a white skull on it. Porn magazines lined her pockets. 

“Crymini,” Loona greeted, hiding a small smile. 

“So glad to see you again, Loona,” Crymini replied. “Anything on your mind? What shall we do? Go for a drink? Vandalize a building after a smoke? Or we could chew on some bones of demons…they’re my favorite snack!”

“I wish,” Loona rolled her eyes at the more hyper hound. “I feel somewhat obligated to help Blitzo and company recruit more people to help promote I.M.P.”

“I think I saw commercials of it,” Crymini mentioned. “That imp killing company?”

Loona nodded.

“Wait…you work there too?”

“Pretty much. A receptionist. Filled to the brim with paperwork, calling clients and annoying fellow employees.”

“Your condition still there?” Crymini asked.

“Syphilis can go fuck itself.”

“I wish it would for your sake and mine as well.”

“One wouldn’t say being in a rock band is much easier, but it’s still pretty fun.”

“I’ve seen you play guitar and sing. Pretty good I must say.”

“Thanks! I’ll be performing at a concert later this week. Will you be there?”

“Sure,” she replied with a shrug.

“Let’s go to your headquarters then!”

Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Mimzy, Baxter and Crymini were soon together at the building. 

“Anyone want some booze and fresh meat?” Loona asked.

Everyone nodded in agreement. 

Not too far away, concealed in bushes, a figure was watching them with orange eyes. Roo, the kangaroo Australian demon. She had white skin, wild aburn hair and wore orange. A large wide brimmed dark hat concealed her face in shadow. A parasitic creature slithered from her mouth, its body covered with white spikes and eyes.

She bared her sharp teeth, blood and liquid dropping from her mouth. One thought emitted from her head, the parasite in sync with her thoughts.  
“Feast.”


End file.
